just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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