Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
