I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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