just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm getting married
To pizza
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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