can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's never too late to be topless.
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You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
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Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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