Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
