apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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