yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
