I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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