I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket