he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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