Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C