Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina

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(925): View more from California

we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks

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(901): View more from Tennessee

You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury

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(315): View more from New York

I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(904): View more from Florida

Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.

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