Non-Jews are for practice
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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