Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
cat food counts as protein by the way
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
