Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize