plz talk dirty to me
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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