This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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