Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
