I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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