My hand turned me down
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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