im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Threesome in a minivan. New low
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize