found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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