why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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