Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
