The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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