If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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