i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
