Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
