We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
