Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
