her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
