At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
