She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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