so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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