I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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