Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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