I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
