I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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