And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
