I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
