You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
