I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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