the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
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They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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