Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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