so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
