You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
