And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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