note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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