just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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