The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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