You can't special order awesome
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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