Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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