I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
