don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My liver is preforming stress tests.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
