Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
