i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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