I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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