I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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