She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
