Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
