At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
